Yarr, matey! It is I, the plunderer of the Seven Seas of YouTube, the mighty terrible Captain LeChavez (also known as JMAA)!
Listen, matey, and listen well, thus this is the story of an adventure in the quest of a bountiful (yet dreadful) treasure, Hunt Down the Freeman.
The legend of Hunt Down The Freeman
Legends amongst pirates of the excrement seas tell of a hidden treasure, which curse resounds on those whom dare to spoil it. It is said that the insane owner of this treasure has buried himself with his own army of YouTube voice actors in hopes that, when discovered, the curse of the Black YouTube Pearl will haunt the souls of their victims.
It is a curse so dreadful, it has killed nearly 7 pirates in a stress attack.
A treasure so dreadful its Metascore is 21 and it's even comparable to The Room.
Hunt Down the Torrent
We sailed away in our quest on March 14th 2018 of our Lord and Savior, particularly in a rush under time trial since the spoils have to be presented that day, we had bidders on our home. We headed north at the sea of Google, to a desert island which apparently is infested with AIDS infected stingrays and sirens that offered us free sexy mobile games in exchange of giving us more AIDS.
We dropped the anchor near the island and plunged into the treasure cove, locked under 2 pitfalls, each one infested with AIDS infested stingrays. The casualties were minimal, as AVG was there to back us up.
And finally, we got the treasure in its full form. It took hours to carry the treasure to the ship until we could try to spoil it at our pirate base, but alas, we weren't aware of its curse: the chest won't open and it was already costing our bidders their patience, they started to rot as living dead sailors!
So it turned out that we missed a little detail we overlooked: we had to go back to the island and grab the Key of Doom, which was pretty different to the key the treasure included. Another 2 pitfalls with AIDS infected stingrays (thanks AVG), and we got it: the Key of Doom, a patch in our problem.
We sail back home, and now we can enjoy the spoils of treasure for free! Surely at least we didn't spend any dimes into this utter bollocks, and I'll throw yer to the brig if you dare to charge me gold for this nonsense! 'Cause ye know what's better than paying and refunding a very terrible Half-Life 2 fangame, with all its risk?
Going the pirate way.
You can fully enjoy the treasure with us at Twitch, on March 17th 2018, 8:00 PM CEST (Spain), for the Hunt Down The Freeman stream!