I played against Fatal1ty once, it was awful.

You guys are very familiar with my personal feud with Jonathan Wendel in funny videos and shit. And you know for me this guy is one of the incarnations of no-life cunts who take vidya too seriously. As in, they're just obsessed with winning all time on a literal videogame so they earn money for playing videogames (do you snort certain DarksydePhil here?), but this one is close and personal to me because I had an encounter with this guy ages ago. 

 Let me draw you back to the year 2009 or so, in my college days. I was studying in a computer degree college and our class went on a college trip to a technological convention in Madrid. Most of it was the boring IT shit like Microsoft Office and all that crap, but there was a section dedicated to videogames, where I had the chance to record myself with a Master Chief cosplay and play a little bit of Halo (and sucked ass at it). 

But there was one booth where everyone was piling up for a contest with a big PC rig on the prize pool. There he was, Fatal1ty, where the contest goal was to frag Fatal1ty ONCE (yes, just ONE FRAG) before the timer run out. Now, as the autistic fuck I was I wanted to dive in because, come on, who didn't want a way better PC than the toaster I used to have?  

And I entered the contest. I regret prematurely challenging such a no-life pro Quake 4 player ever since. 

The map was a port of a Quake 3 Arena map on Quake 4. Familiar map, fair enough. The problem is, Fatal1ty had the familiar tools, a gaming normal keyboard with all the keys and shit. And to add injury to the insult, they gave me the gayest toy keyboard to play against this fucking Goliath of a gamer, which barely had the basic controls on it (WASD, spacebar, Control keys and a shitty trackpad mouse). It was like they were laughing at my face. How was I supposed to beat this guy with this glorified kids keyboard?  

But even then, I was so inexperienced with gaming like that, I didn't even know how to handle this shit. Concepts like WASD were alien to me still and I didn't even know how to strafejump or rocket jump. So obviously I lost. No prize at all. They interviewed me in my own embarrasment as if this was some XBox One wheel of unfairness level thing. And I left.  

But eventually years got past and I got over it. I admitted that I was not in the level of esports players (and so far, I never really was), because in the end, you play games for fun, right? It's not like these fuckers made a gay ass business out of taking games seriously, right?  

You know, if you can't beat em in their field, you gotta lure them to yours.  

Happy trolling! Hope you enjoy a ration of Gamerfood.