Ever since the dawn of time, the truths of humanity have been kept in secret by the Powers that Be ruling this Earth with an iron fist… but I’m here to spill the truth out there, with all the substantial evidence, all corroborated evidence, the evidence that you keep denying deep down because you’re all scared, scared deep down because of the goblin menace ruling this planet.

Now, I present to you the evidence:

Evidence #1: Look at this shit

This has been a goblin recently caught on tape by a security camera in Virginia. Now, believe it or not, some of you skeptics might not believe this is a goblin, but I truly believe this is a goblin, which brings me to my next piece of evidence…

Evidence #2: I just think goblins are real now.

Yeah. Because I feel it. Feelings don’t care about facts, dorks. Famous words from Ben Shabibo.

Next piece of evidence…

Evidence #3: All goblins look the same

Now, have you noticed that in the human consciousness, goblins all probably look like this:

This is because goblins have existed since the Middle Ages. Checkmate, Biden.

Evidence #4: I’m just going to play Psybadek for PS1 now.

THE WATER IS TURNING THE GOBLINS GAY!!